I started a ‘blessings’ book two weeks ago on the day I lowered my valium from 7mg to 4.5mg. It isn’t a huge drop but in this second week I’ve found myself experiencing huge anxiety peaks after months of calm and joy. It is a little difficult for me to accept it without probing for answers, so my blessings book helps. I write about half a page each day, detailing the things I did that made me happy. Going for a walk, ticking a medical appointment off my list, having a great chat with my husband. Just the little, every day things that I used to gloss over before my health scare. But now I’m thankful, I’m grateful, I’m overjoyed by the little things, and I will not allow myself to lose these feelings. Not even when I’m weaning off valium and having ridiculous amounts of anxiety. This blessings book will steer me through the turbulent times and find me once again basking in the sunshine.
To that part of me that waits until the early hours to start churning, good morning.
I haven’t seen you around for a while.
It may be the first time in months that I’ve actually been more focused on my body than my neurological health. I worried aggressively for several weeks while I was tested and saw a neurologist. Now it has been over a week since my reprieve and my mind has calmed down and turned to a bigger subject - my body.Read more